GARY WALKER
I recently read an AP article that a federal appeals court has allowed the return of the Fab Ten to a Kentucky county court house wall, because, according to the court, the Ten Commandments are not religiously oriented. Right! And just to reveal how non-religiously oriented the Fab Ten are, a Reverend Chester Shartzer, along with 200 sheeple hoisted the display upon the wall of the court house while singing God’s praises. Yes, nothing says “not religiously oriented” like a choir led by a preacher man praising god.
Although it’s been said many times, many ways, the Ten Commandments are the foundation of our country, that is a lie. In fact, the Fab Ten are unAmerican and in direct contradiction to our Constitution. Why does Reverend Shartzer hate America?
Behold, as any preacher worthy of his psalter will tell you, the Fab Ten can be divided into two groups: The first four deal with man’s relationship with God, and the last six deal with man’s relationship with man.
The man to man thing is not quite as offensive to America as the first four are. In a nutshell they include: honor your parents, don’t kill, don’t bear false witness, don’t steal, don’t commit adultery, and don’t covet your neighbor’s wife or his ass, etc. These six were already part of most early cultures before Moses floated down a river in a hand basket. The problem is that many of these commands come with the death penalty as an attachment. Imagine if America enforced the death penalty for adultery! Hey, that just might solve our parking problems.
The last four commands, however, are so insulting and unAmerican that my spirit is sorely vexed. The very first Command is that we cannot have any other gods before the great Jehovah. Well, one of the main foundations of this country was, and is, religious freedom. We may have 1000 gods before petty, jealous Jehovah if we so choose, or we may worship no gods at all. In America, Jehovah’s henchmen may not use the arm of the state to force their brand of superstition upon all citizens.
In command #2, Jehovah says that we cannot make any carved images or a likeness of anything (no art) or he will punish our children. That’s right, he punishes children for the deeds of their fathers. Pathetic!
And #3, do not use the Lord’s name in vain. Every time an American utters god damn it, he must be put to death so that Jehovah’s delicate ego will not be bruised. This could really loosen up those parking spaces.
And my personal favorite is the fourth commandment to honor the Sabbath, which is SATURDAY, the seventh day. Death to those who violate this ridiculous command. And just to show he wasn’t kidding, the Bible god once had a man stoned to death for gathering sticks on the Sabbath (Num. 15:35). Although, the Bible god condoned slavery in two (#4&10) of the Fab Ten (and throughout the Bible), he did allow for slaves to have Saturday off along with everyone else. Mercival heavens! Jehovah was the first compassionate conservative. But, whether you observe the Bible Sabbath on Saturday, or the false sabbath of Sunday, many Americans work on either or both of these days. Should they be executed? More parking?
One of the most curious aspects of this relentless Ten Commandments fetish is that the average Christian could not recite them even if his salvation depended upon it. They want to pollute our public spaces with this religious nonsense, but do they actually want to obey these commands? I think that every pilgrim who wants to post the Fab Ten on public property should be condemned to actually obey them or face the penalty thus written in the Bible. Amen.