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FACTUAL FAIRY TALES

GARY WALKER

In the Religion Section of the Saturday Concord Monitor (5/24), was an article called Evangelicals Question Global Warming. A coalition of conservative Evangelicals issued a statement that included this sentence, “Our stewardship of creation must be based on Biblical principles and factual evidence.” Holy non-sequitor, are they kidding? What do biblical principles (each sect choose your own) and factual evidence have in common?

What “factual evidence” is there for a six day creation followed by a seventh day (Saturday) of rest for the Bible god? Creating a universe must be hard work. Where is the evidence for the Bible god sneezing into a mud puddle thus creating the first man, Adam? Or, what evidence exists for the creation of Eve from Adam’s rib, after the Bible god’s failure to find a helpmate for Adam from all the beasts of the field? If Maggy the gorilla touched Adam’s fancy, there may have never been an Eve. Perhaps there is some evidence for a talking snake, but I have never seen it, or how about a talking donkey (Numbers ch. 22), or a fired up talking bush who said, “I am what I am and that’s all that I am. I’m Yahweh the savior god, toot toot.”

Where’s the evidence for a virgin birth, healing the blind with spittle and dirt, driving demons out of people and into pigs, or raising the dead to life again? There is no evidence for Herod’s slaughter of innocents described by Matthew. Even Luke forgot to mention it! Also in Matthew 27:52, zombies rose from their graves. Where is the “factual evidence” for this astounding event? To me, this was the most amazing event in all “history” (The afternoon of the living dead) and yet, not even a mustard seed of evidence. I wonder what those zombies were wearing. Did they walk around in their birthday suits as the prophet Isaiah did for three years (Isaiah 20: 2-3), or did the Bible god provide custom tailored sackcloth suits? The clothes make the zombie you know!

All the fairy tales of the Bible must be taken on faith (as blind as can be) because there is no evidence, unlike global warming or the dreaded evolution which are both based on reams of “factual evidence.” Unfortunately, “The way to see by faith is to shut the eye to reason.” —Benjamin Franklin

Well I could go on, but ouch, I just hurt my intelligently designed back, bending over to retrieve my spectacles, that I now need  to aid my intelligently designed eyes. I am reminded of the famous philosopher, Voltaire, when he observed that, “It is obvious that the nose was designed to hold spectacles.” “That’s all folks!”

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