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God’s Crazy Justice

James A. Worrell

“Out of terror, the type has been willed, cultivated and attained: the domestic animal, the herd animal,…the Christian.” Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

When God made David King of Israel, He said, I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after mine own heart, which shall fulfil [sic] all my will.” (See Acts 13:22). Yes, David was a man that pleased God and a man after God’s own heart. Whatever that means, but here is the true character of David whom God choose to be the king he promised the Israelites.

At the time when kings go forth to battle, David sent Joáb and his servants with him, and all Israel; and they destroyed the children of Ammon, and besieged Rab’bah. But David stayed in Jersusalem. In the evening, David arose from his bed and took a walk on the roof of his house, and from the roof he saw a woman washing herself; and the woman was very beautiful. The woman was Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah, the Hittite.

Obviously David’s lust took charge of him and he sent for Bathsheba. He had sexual intercourse with her, and after some kind of purification rite, she went to her house. Later, Bathsheba told David that she conceived and was with child.

Immediately, David sent word to Joáb saying, “Send me Uriah the Hittite,” and Joáb did. When Uriah reported David demanded a report on the war. Then David told Uriah to go home and wash his feet. David sent a mess of meat with Uriah. David wanted Uriah to go home and sleep with Bathsheba, so when she had the baby, Uriah would think it was his child. However, to David’s consternation, Uriah did not go home and have sex with Bathsheba; he slept at the door of King David’s house.

When the servants told David that Uriah had not gone home, David confronted Uriah about it. Uriah explained that the Ark, and Israel, and Judah were living in tents, and that Joáb was encamped in an open field, and that he thought it unfair to go home to eat, drink and sleep with Bathsheba while his fellow soldiers were suffering. In short, Uriah didn’t want any favors that the troops were not receiving. He was a good guy and true egalitarian.

David, still trying to get Uriah in bed with Bathsheba, told Uriah to hang around for a couple of days. David invited him to dinner and got him drunk, but still Uriah did no sleep with his wife. David wastes no time. He sent David back into combat and sent a letter to Joáb telling him to put Uriah back in the forefront of the hottest battle and retire from him so that Uriah would be killed. This was done, and Uriah was slain in battle.

When Bathsheba heard of Uriah’s death, she mourned. After the mourning, she was summoned to David’s house where she became his wife and bore him a son. This displeased God who had found David a man after his own heart.

What in the world do you think God did? After proclaiming that David would “fulfil [sic] all my will”? He chastised David reminding him that he had saved him from King Saul, and given him everything including many wives. So the first thing God did was take away David’s many wives (before thine eyes) ad gave them to his neighbor who was to have sex with them openly, in broad daylight. My, my, how fitting of God, He is punishing King David by forcing his wives to have sex in the public square in broad daylight before all of Israel. Just how that punished David, I’m not sure, but I suspect the wives weren’t too fond of it. If you think that punishment was misdirected, read on.

David was informed by Nathan that God was going to kill the child, so David spent the night without food and in a prostate position on the earth. And in seven days after God struck the child, he died. David got up and sat down to a big meal, and explained to his servants that now that the child was dead it was no longer necessary to fast and pray. He then summoned Bathsheba and took her to bed for sex. We will never know if the first baby had a name, but the second child was named Solomon.

The point of this story is that King David was idolized and is still to this day, a big hero for the Israeli people. Even the Israeli flag has the “Star of David” on it. The main point is that God really didn’t punish David for his having Uriah murdered, instead, God killed the innocent baby. The baby had done no wrong to God, and was completely innocent, yet that is who God punished to atone for David giving the enemies of God great occasion to blaspheme. This is just one clear example of God’s crazy justice. The Bible has many more.

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