Neal Wilgus
CSI: YO MAMA
Neal Wilgus
The question arises:
should skeptics
be skeptical
of skepticism?
At first glance
you answer
might be no
but then
the doubt begins.
A skeptic
asks a lot of questions,
rarely has answers.
But whom comes first?
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Book Review
Neal Wilgus
HOPILAND CHRISTMAS by Bob Lonsberry. CFI, 2373 W. 700 S. Springville, UT 85663; paperback, 7007, 69 pages, $5.99 US.
This piece of religious fiction is more accurately described as propaganda, which is all right as long as it’s recognized as such. It’s the story of two young Mormon missionaries attempting to spread their faith on the Hopi Indian Reservation in Northern Arizona. No problem there — that’s what missionaries do.
Problems arise early, however, because propaganda is not good fiction. The writing is uneven, with reasonably accurate descriptions of Hopi geography (if not the people) but a woeful lack of fictional characterization. The two missionaries are indistinguishable — the author even seems to mix them up, but it doesn’t matter. The writing is generally good but there are lapses from time to time that throws the narrative off.
I have no problem with the message these missionaries preach —if you’re going to read the whole thing you’re going to have to put up with the Christian/Mormon thing they spout. Where I do have a problem is with the treatment of the Hopi people in the story. If the missionaries are straw-men the Indians are, alas, shadows of a shade.
The part of the story I found least feasible and most objectionable begins with the missionaries ignoring a sign at Old Oraibi which says that white people are not allowed. It would have been better to avoid the charge of racism by saying “tribal members only” — Old Oraibi is the heart of Hopi traditionalism and is closed to outsiders on occasion. My father-in-law was Hopi and when I was sometimes told I was not allowed to attend a dance I accepted it and sat in the car to wait until Hopi family members returned.
The missionaries in my opinion, should have followed the same policy, respecting the ancient Hopi ways. And in fact the missionaries story doesn’t ring true because when they invade Old Oraibi they meet with no resistance and are accepted by a docile people. I don’t think so — the tribal elders would surely have confronted then and turned them away.
At another point the missionaries take a film projector into Old Orabi and present a slide show near the kiva, which is sacred to the Hopi. But the Hopi tribe is very strict about not allowing cameras or tape recorders during their dances, so it’s highly unlikely they’d welcome a slide show about Jesus in their sacred place.
The Hopi are a friendly people, and probably the most traditional of the Pueblo tribes, and although they have adopted the trappings of Christmas and of white culture, they remain true to their old ways. Missionaries are tolerated too, but they must follow the guidelines like anyone else.
HOPILAND CHRISTMAS is no doubt meant to inspire with the Mormon message, but all it inspired in me was doubt. Mere propaganda.
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Agnostic Anarchist Arrested Again
Neal Wilgus
Openarmed, WC (LEAK) — Not exactly dark and stormy, the sky was dim and drizzly when that most-hated convict, Jude Enigman, was released from Sunnydale prison today — and was promptly rearrested for loitering. Enigman, convicted twenty years ago for having no convictions and failing to list his spiritual status on mandatory forms prior to attempting to board a homeland flight, was generously granted a pardon by the Most High Security Council last week after serving only one-hundredth of his original sentence. Stubbornly calling himself an agnostic despite stringent laws forbidding the label and “belief,” Enigman was subject to extreme isolation and sensory deprivation, but continued to insist on his “doubt defense” which had failed so miserably before the courts and the prison disciplinary staff.Eyewitnesses and police informants were not surprised to see Enigman emerge from Sunnnydale into the empty Street of Dreams, clad in a thin, cheap suit with cardboard shoes and no hat. There were no reporters and no news cameras, only the surveillance devices which tracked and recorded his every reprehensible move. A lone three-legged dog sniffed Enigman’s foot and relieved itself on his leg.What a contrast Enigman’s release made with the recent freeing of various other prisoners of more conventional outlooks. Father Pedro Phile, for instance, was pardoned last month and when he stepped out upon the Street of Dreams, a cheer went up and bright sunlight welcomed him. Several months earlier, Pastor Hiram Cheatum-Howe, leader of the War Against Satan In the Struggle For The Jewish Soul, was released after his conviction in a pyramiding scheme and was miraculously healed before the multitude, and arose from his wheelchair and walked to his waiting limousine.Even more dramatic was the prison break by the Messiah of The Church of Scientific Dynamics, L. Mother Hubbard, who rose up from the administration building in a spectacular daylight escape six months ago. Great crowds had gathered and prayed for Ole Ma Hubbard, who was taken up into the air by space aliens from Roswell Castle and environs, and many in the crowds disappeared, presumably following Ma into the crowds. Old timers still recall the release of serial killer-artist Wally Sickert, mass-murderer-clown John Wayne greasy, terror-coordinator Osammy Ali Babble, and watercolor-landscaper Adolph Sickgoober, in decades pass, as joyous times were had by spirited believers in all. Social critics even point to the small band of atheists who gathered to greet Agatha Krispy O’Hair upon her release from Sunnydale long ago when such stuff was still legal. “We were actually moved by O’Hairy’s rather pathetic release from Sunnydale,” Dr. Issac Querkovikian told reporters on the Street of Dreams. “Given those golden memories, we can only give up praise upon high when we see Jude Enigman stumble out into the twilight where he was snatched up again, and rightly so, for his terrible crimes against belief.”
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